Steve Haarman

I wish I could write Blues Songs

Because I’m empty and broken-hearted

The words just won’t come to mind

Maybe I’ve had it too good

Didn’t have to suffer enough

Always had an advantage

Because I would work hard

And then also I was white

I try to put that aside

But it just won’t drift away

You can’t pay for what you didn’t buy

Just give back to those that cry

It fills me a little

But words don’t come

Joy and sorrow —oh let me beat a drum

Find the melody I hear from a horn

Mend a heart that was needlessly torn

I know the taste, but that is not enough

Squeezing out anguish with laughter is tough

Improvisation is the magic word

I’m miles away

Even the sound is to me absurd

Maybe there are no words

Just a marching rhythm of notes

Quarter notes, half notes

Notes ‘til you can’t count anymore

The Sax you blow until that single beat

Has a way of setting all scores

I’m happy now —I’ve tried

I haven’t lied; haven’t died

Still alive and listening and looking

Stanski

August 14, 2020 ^

One:

Work the landscape

Make it look nice

Let it sing to you

Listen for the bells

Soon they will ring

Stanski

August 13, 2020 ^

Two:

What lifts my soul?

Good things that happen

The sound of nature

                Wind through the trees

                Waves on the shore

I won’t ask for more

The moon, stars and sun

Speak to me, too

I want to answer back

That is my goal!

Stanski

August 13, 2020 ^

Three:

Denied and down again

Will I get up once more?

I must, I’m all I have

I’ll walk out that door

Will not look back

No satisfaction

I’ll find my destiny

You will see

And only then

Will you

Hear from me!

Stanski

August 13, 2020 ^

I woke up at 2:30 A.M.

Stars were clearly visible

I thought of the hour

I thought of creation

Of God Almighty and

His purpose for me

I wanted Him to speak

I laid down and listened

He said He works through me

I am one of His man-angels

There are high expectations

I am a chosen one

There is much to do

I have to open up more

To the needs of others

I have heard this before

But it vanishes from my mind

Like a rainbow from the sky

I need constant reminders

But now I have been challenged

This is serious business

It is incumbent on me to be aware

I feel under some pressure

But then I remember that

I am a chosen one and

This is all His work that

I will be doing and responsible for

It becomes a good feeling

A badge of extreme honor

I drift off to sleep but

Wake up 5 hours later

Still remembering the conversation

It was a new day with

A brand new assignment

Man-angels are made for this

Stanski

August 13, 2020 ^

It is the critic who speaks the loudest

Insinuates many times based only on hearsay

No authenticity is born on their wings

They are ready to fly away from the truth

There are those who sit on the fence

Waiting to feel which way the wind blows

They are in fact, abominable, but

Feel secure in their indecisiveness

Pragmatic to some critics is to be phony

Their alternative utterances have no basis

It is difficult to say you made a mistake

Circumvention of reality can sway opinion

Where can one go to discover truth?

Avoid the repetitions of those in discord

Thinking and logic can be employed

A review of the reliability of previous comments

There is a legitimate time to make claims

Point out the existence of evil and crime

The senselessness of destruction, looting and fire

Watch who is silent, while waiting to blame

Good people stay mute; afraid of reprisal

This should never be the way

Take a stand, be a beacon of light

Insure those who are righteous do not have to pay

Allow the critic to see the truth

This is real life; there is much to lose

Stanski

August 12, 2020 ^

We are free to dream

We are free to hypothesize

Free to draw conclusions and

free to analyze

Feelings are tender, still

we have felt no anguish

except for our losses and even then

others come along to fill all voids

Resentment will prey on reality

We have our positions and hold fast

Blustering is a substitute for

An unconvincing point of view

Understanding may be a hostile word

We have that need to be right

and what about all the precepts

given to us as a gift which

in the end had a great cost

What is our position now, when

we remember the basis for our living

Do we drop our head in shame?

Recognize Who gave us the ground

upon which we proudly bloviate

attacking a wayward acolyte

instead of serving those on the fringes

We bring light to our eminence

Missing the chance to bring food and water

to those who have been denied and have no shelter

Is this what we are good for?

Have we no higher aspirations

then to find fault in things

we do not put into perspective

Do we attempt to elevate ourselves

By diminishing those who sacrificed

Life is a precious gift meant

to be lived to the fullest

while dreaming of eternal rewards

So clear, when reflected properly

Stanski

August 11, 2020 ^

We dance sometimes when we want to cry

No one can observe this theater of the feet

Music ends; you do not wait for the next song

Fresh air was the music my heart desired

Deep inhalations as I took in the view

Moon light on the water showed a calm sea

My heart ache would not ease – memories-

Too strong to let go nor the desire to do so

Dancing had always been fun – of course she led

The band could not stay long enough

Silent respect and love of each other enabled us

Something unique; we had so much to live for

There was no pressure; we lived for each other

Our lives, though together, had their singular paths

Questions were never asked; only support was given

Live proceeds; hard work required and accepted

Time moves on; eventually we were alone

Our children found their own paths which they took

We pulled the stop cord and ended our careers

Moved to our shack in the Upper Peninsula

Angels can dance on the head of a pin

The number has never been revealed to us

They were dancing privately while keeping their watch

Knowing there would be a day not too far into the future

They waited patiently until they were called to duty

In the meantime we danced a different step for us

We traveled to visit our children and enjoyed life

Being on the ground of life was a lifting experience

We had our moments and life was good

Our accomplishments were not counted as we went on

Then the news that a diagnosis was going to be fatal

Her angels showed her the light:  Magenta, Gold, and Purple

They stopped dancing and took her away

I was left empty with no place to turn

So we smile even though we are sad

And dance slowly when we want to cry

Stanski

August 10, 2020 ^

                                                                                                            August 8, 2020 ^

Today is Saturday and it is morning.  Wind is blowing and waves are crashing the shore.  It is nature’s music and the performance is continuing without sunshine.  Clouds are heavy and deep gray.  The weather map does not show signs of any let up.  Rain so far is intermittent.  Our plans had been to go to the Lutheran Church and tend to some landscape maintenance.  My landscape work of the last seven years has been neglected.  I resigned because of health concerns and no one has stepped up, nor was anyone been hired to do the work.  I will plug away at it for about an hour each day for the next few weeks.  This should suffice and bring things up to speed. The congregation is dwindling.  People quit attending for various reasons; health is a factor and death has taken some of our dear ones.  One man who led the singing and his wife who played the piano at a weekend service just quit saying the church was not conservative enough.  They had been involved for years and then suddenly they leave a note on the piano bench with their explanation.  I thought why not say you are getting up in years and need to call it a day and give thanks for the opportunity to have served.  Jesus taught us to love God above all things and our neighbor as ourselves — so LOVE is the word.  It was never qualified which implies that we may not be selective in whom we love, but should love all without question.  Each of us has a purpose, usually unknown to us and we should not set ourselves up to pontificate.  Why bring misery and doubt when you can bring joy.  In the Catholic Church, I cringe when at a wedding or funeral mass the priest has to tell the non-Catholics that they cannot receive Communion but can come up and be blessed.  In the bible we read that Jesus said at the last supper, come, all of you and eat this bread for it is my body and drink this wine for it is my blood.  He made no exceptions, but invited everyone.  At a time when all churches are reaching out for members it seems contrary and offensive to go against the intentions of Jesus.  Do man rules supersede the wishes of our Redeemer?  This denial of the Eucharistic meal seems so counterproductive.  Rain is pouring and trees are swaying.  It is most likely that plans across the region have changed.  The birdbath is filling and plants are being watered and other things are being done.  Before I left my bed, I thought about writing these things down and sharing them with people I love and respect.  I think and pray for friends, living and deceased, as well as for all my relatives, those past and the present, each day.  Everyone has their own life and some paths that once crossed frequently do not cross at all any more.  We have little control physically so we make our connections in a spiritual way which is probably more meaningful.  Life events take us from one thing to the next and many times exciting things are never shared.  We send Christmas letters and greetings and that is that, but in the meantime have social intercourse with those around us who have a present influence in our lives.  Everyone, with some exceptions, pretty much believes this and the same phenomena exists in their being.  It is with these thoughts that I close for now, sending my love and best wishes.  Be at peace.

Steve

Morning comes and she is not there

Mourning follows morning but must end

There will be no news reporter echoing sentiment

Only a mind that is strong will attempt

to remember the things she did in

surrendering her life to the needs of others

Her family was everything along with

a few close friends who needed her for

the balm to soothe over their lives rough edges

She participated, but was not

an absent minded follower and walked

away from useless activity because her

devotion to family was so important to her

She had great sentiment and could surge with pride

Steps taken by her had purpose and

she would light up a room with her presence

Scores were known but there was no condemnation

Rather she offered her unique balm which

was only understood long after it was applied

There was no competition with herself or others

“So what” was her attitude as her reflections

brought her into a new theater of opportunity

Her memory is my ointment and I do not

need pictures as she is enshrined in my mind

She a jewel, cut just so, that the prisms

reflected her attributes in ways that

changed her charges forever and a day

Stanski

August 9, 2020 ^

                                                                                                             August 8, 2020 ^
 
Today is Saturday and it is morning.  Wind is blowing and waves are crashing the shore.  It is nature’s music and the performance is being done without sunshine.  Clouds are heavy and deep gray.  The weather map does not show signs of any let up.  Rain so far is intermittent.  Our plans had been to go to the Lutheran Church and tend to some landscape maintenance.  My landscape work of the last seven years has been neglected.  I resigned because of health concerns and no one has stepped up, nor was anyone hired to do the work.  I will plug away at it for about an hour each day for the next few weeks.  The congregation is dwindling.  People quit attending for various reasons; health is a factor and death has taken some of our dear ones.  One man who led the singing and his wife who played the piano at a weekend service just quit saying the church was not conservative enough.  They had been involved for years and then suddenly they leave a note on the piano bench with their explanation.  I thought why not say you are getting up in years and need to call it a day and give thanks for the opportunity to have served.  Jesus taught us to love God above all things and our neighbor as ourselves --- so LOVE is the word.  It was never qualified which implies that we may not be selective in whom we love, but should love all without question.  Each of us has a purpose, usually unknown to us and should not set ourselves up to pontificate.  Why bring misery and doubt when you can bring joy.  In the Catholic Church, I cringe when at a wedding or funeral mass the priest has to tell the non-Catholics that they cannot receive Communion but can come up and be blessed.  In the bible we read that Jesus said at the last supper, come, all of you and eat this bread for it is my body and drink this wine for it is my blood.  He made no exceptions, but invited everyone.  At a time when all churches are reaching out for members it seems contrary and offensive to go against the intentions of Jesus.  Do man rules supersede the wishes of our Redeemer?  This denial of the Eucharistic meal seems so counterproductive.  Rain is pouring and trees are swaying.  It is most likely that plans across the region have changed.  The birdbath is filling and plants are being watered and other things are being done.  Before I left my bed, I thought about writing these things down and sharing them with people I love and respect.  I think and pray for friends, living and deceased, as well as all my relatives past and present, each day.  Everyone has their own life and some paths that once crossed frequently do not cross at all any more.  We have little control physically so we make our connections in a spiritual way which is probably more meaningful.  Life events take us from one thing to the next and many times exciting things are never shared.  We send Christmas letters and greetings and that is that, but in the meantime have social intercourse with those around us who have a present influence in our lives.  Everyone, with some exceptions, pretty much believe this and the same phenomena exists in their being.  It is with these thoughts that I close for now, sending my love and best wishes.  Be at peace.
Steve

Every word we utter, with purpose or nonchalant
And every act and action or reaction has purpose
and matters in this shallow life we live
 
Every thought has consequences and
as we delve into “what is life”; we must work
with persistence to stay above the fray
 
We must listen to our inner voices, our spirit
and the very core of our nature
 
To drift away from who we are is to
fracture or chip off a piece of a precious vessel
and only the foolish would do this
on purpose knowing the results
 
Life is a precious gift and with it comes
the gift of opportunity to live it to the fullest
 
We are our own keeper, but
our brothers and sisters matter
We are not their keepers but we may
charge ourselves with helping them
even laying down our life for them
 
To live this way with care and not
abandonment is to be filled up
What would life be without this?
 
What word; what act would matter if
we did not blanket it with good purpose
 
We are the assigners of our destiny
Let us remember that thoughts of this matter
 
Stanski
August 8, 2020 ^