I wake up and see the sunshine
It filters through the woods and
Lifts my spirits. I feel very lucky.
I dwell on this for a while as I would
In prayer. I begin to think. I have lost
two of my children without notice.
I endure in my own way. I reflect
On all we had been through. I hear
Again the last words of my daughter
“I love you, dad, thanks for all you do”
I tremble in tears wondering what
More I could have done. I lay still for
A while and then think of the
Pioneers who left their parents and
Went west to settle on a farm, never
To have contact with them again
Because there was no mail and no
Going back, just memories and sadness.
Just remembering the good times
Does not fill the void. Sons and husbands
Leaving to fight the enemy in senseless wars,
Is another sure way to bring tragedy
Always on edge when the mail comes
Or the doorbell rings, thinking about
the worst news possible. Heroes and villains
at the same time. I feel sullen, laying there,
knowing that this is the way the world is.
I wonder if it will get better or is this it.
The Man from Galilee gave His life for us,
But we cannot be reconciled by this.
We find it difficult to give up anything
And would do so if only we could make
A bargain to get what we want. This
Will never be. I remember that God has
A purpose for everything that goes on. I
Hope that I am on the right side of that
Purpose. I slide out of bed to continue my
Day. The sun is still shining.
Stanski
August 6, 2023, ^
Steve Haarman 