My daughter was a loving being
She was the oldest of six
Maybe she thought much
Was expected of her and
Soothed this feeling by
Withdrawing and riding
The rough trail alone
She made decisions which
Countered other’s best intentions
Let the cards fall where they will
She misdiagnosed the source of
Her inner sadness. Being on her
Own did not help. She loved
Animals and let them have
Their run. They ruined her
Furniture without her caring
She let her baggage pile up
Until there was no room for help
She was with a man, not the
Father of her lovely daughter
He was a big shot and tended
To treat her like a slave. The
Little one called to tell me
Something—He is a “jurk”
meaning a jerk
The three were in an accident
He was the hero because he
Sustained injury, while the girls,
Mother and daughter went
Physically unscathed. He was
Abusive, mentally and physically
By the time he called all of his
Friends, his eight inches of stitches
Increased to eighty. He died
Putting out a practice fire as he
Was a volunteer fireman who made
Sure he had the latest equipment
At the funeral, while we said good
Riddance she noted that he was her man
She trained animals and lived with
The head man at the center,
Who had divorced his wife
She was good at her job of training
But neglected her housework which
Was complicated by several dogs and
Cats, water leaks, and black mold
He too was abusive and expected
Much more than he gave. She began
To sleep and went to doctors who gave
Her antidepressants. Her work slacked
And eventually, she moved out, seeing
More doctors who felt the answer was
In pills. She went to the Mayo Clinic and
They found nothing wrong but said to
Stay on her meds. Through Social Services
She obtained an apartment where she
Lived with two cats. She slept and did
Not eat well. She tried a few jobs but
Nothing worked out for her. She was
Not good at keeping her apartment in
Order. To her, it was sleep, bathing, smoking,
Junk food and Television. She saw her
Daughter on occasion and tried to find
A doctor who would help her get off of
Some of the drugs. Nothing seemed to
Help in this area. Life went on like this
For a few years and talking to her led
To no improvement. We tried but felt
Incapable no matter what we did. She
Continued on and her friends were the
Animals and the homeless. They all
Liked her because she was a kind person
This last Christmas she seemed happy and
Looked serene. She was with her family.
She texted two days later and then nothing
A welfare check a few days later found her
Deceased. The coroner said she died of
Malnutrition, complicated by the mixture
Of antidepressants. Her last words to me
Were, I love you, dad. Thanks for all you do.
I have often wondered what else we could
Have done that she would agree to.
Soul-searching is a good tonic, but understanding
Depression is a complicated thing.
Stanski
July 24, 2022, ^
Steve Haarman 