My firstborn died today and I tremble
Her name was Barbara Elizabeth
She was the oldest of six children
Her life seemed lived in stages
In front of many, she was shy
Alone she was bold
Worked well at different jobs
Training dogs was her favorite
She has a daughter, now 33
And a granddaughter just one year
She lived alone in a slummy condition
Part of the effects of suffering depression
She was found deceased in her apartment
The coroner is now at work
Trying to determine the time and cause
It is sad, so sad, another hole in the heart
She had capabilities but lost ambition
Her ears were not sensitive to advice
When confronted she could not converse
So difficult when you knew she needed help
She was in denial and gave an assurance
That everything was alright
She could put up a good front but
Later would sleep around the clock
She was kind to the old and helpless
Loved little children and in general
Was polite and charming to everyone
Which often left her vulnerable
She had hope, but her hope was
Attached to conditions which always
Seemed to be changing, leaving her in dismay
She attempted to create the illusion of well being
Those of us who loved her were forever frustrated
Doctors had her on too many medications and
Antidepressants are dangerous and
Have many untoward side effects
The worst is death and death finally caught up
Now she is in a safe place while we are
Left to mourn and wonder
We will miss you forever, dear one and
Will remember your dreams and promise
Someday, somewhere, there will be a new sun for you
Steve Haarman aka Stanski
January 2, 2022 ^
Steve Haarman 