LOOKING BACK

My daughter says goodbye
It is 7:30 in the morning
She is off to work and my
Grandson is soon to follow
Soon they will have their
Own place and I will be alone
 
There was a time when my bride
And I had six active
Children going in all directions
Then one by one they peeled off
All heading to the mountains
West of the Mississippi River
 
I remember planting pine trees
With my oldest son and he
Wondered how long it would be
Until the trees were really tall
A good number of our years would
Be gone and we would wish them back
 
The last time I saw the trees they were
Smothering the driveway, although we
Had planted them in the middle of the
Lot in two staggered rows and I realized
That over thirty years had passed and
The trees had not been tended with alacrity
 
We were alone in the old manor for
Seven years before we sold it and moved
North to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan
We traveled west once a year and they
Traveled east to visit us just as often
It was always good to be together again
 
We did our best not to be neglectful
Built a new house where the old one had been
And spent a lot of time landscaping and
Decorating, always enjoying the process
It all comes to an end eventually and when
The angels came for my bride I was alone
 
After a while I found a new friend and
We spent many happy times traveling to
The south and then the southwest and
Often just being together at home
Something happen, a head injury and life
Changed and our covenant to each other ended
 
It was a sad time packing all of her things
Into a moving truck and driving it downstate
Neighbors helped unpack and the empty truck was
Returned and I eventually drove home to the north
There are people around but the loneliness and loss
Have a long term effect as you wonder why this happens
 
It does happen though, just like seedlings grow into the sky
The old home has changed as different owners put
Their mark on the historic place which was Farm Gothic
The chicken coop I built when the original collapsed
Was painted barn red and had chickens and the big
Back room had animals barking and jumping
 
The outside looked like Spanish revival and the
Rock wall garden I had built had been neglected
It was no longer mine, but I could still hear the
Voices of our children as they played long ago
The euphoria I had felt in restoring the place
Vanished into a melancholy which will not soon go away
 
Time pushes on and the odds of continually living get smaller
I have lost the couple I bought my store from and
Two who befriended us and became our mentors
And so many that helped us along the way
Life goes on however and there is still much to do
There is no way you can just give up and lay down
 
Friends and new friends are there for you and you
For them and ideas are exchanged and acted upon
Disappointments are still commonplace, not because
I am particular but because others cannot see the big picture
You take your lumps and keep on taking the steps
Always with an eye open for someone who will be that one
 
Stanski
July 20, 2020^